More than one way

Alexis Rae Baker

Dear Lexis,

Why is it that people reject my ideas so often? All I want to do is fix the world, but so often, when I talk about it, people get angry with me. Why is that?

Confused in Lacey

Dear Confused,

I understand your frustration, and this is a discussion that I've had with my husband on several occasions. He's of the mind that if everyone just got on board, he could save everyone. I, however, come from a very different mindset; that there is no “one” solution for everyone.

This is the big issue with looking to politics for solutions. Everyone in a leadership position is trying to help the masses, but the masses consist of millions of individuals with various hopes and dreams. So, whatever your solution, no matter how revolutionary, will not appeal to, or work for, all.

You may not believe this, but not everyone wants to live in a house; some people like the vagabond life and enjoy spending their nights under the stars. Not everyone hates to clean; some people actually find it relaxing and even see it as a personal mission. Not everyone wants to be rich and spend their days traveling the world; some like the routine. And there's nothing wrong with any of that; whatever you want, outside of illegal or unethical activity, it’s okay.

I may think that my advice will help the masses, but there will always be someone who it doesn't work for. There will always be someone, with a legitimate reason, who won't benefit from what I have to say. That's just the nature of the game. There will always be some nuance that I didn't recognize or specific that I didn’t address, making my suggestion pointless for someone. So, it's helpful to know this and move forward.

Your solution isn't “the” solution; it’s just “a” solution.

There are usually hundreds, thousands, or millions of alternatives. So, if you're getting angry responses when you bring up your ideas, it's because: A) you're acting like it's the only solution and people resent being told they are “dumb” for not agreeing, or B) they just don't agree that your idea is a solution at all.

So, if you want to face less opposition when you present an idea, keep this notion in mind. Be humble enough to recognize that you may not have seen every aspect of the situation and realize that not everyone wants to live in the same world that you do.

This way, you won't take it as personally when people disagree and you'll actually find that you have more productive conversations that actually move your idea forward in a positive, helpful way. That is the wonder that is socializing, we can do more together, so stay open, listen, share, and recognize that there is always another way, too.

Lexis is Alexis Rae Baker. She writes from her home in Olympia.  Got a question about life, relationships, spirit? Visit her at lexisrae.com or write to Lexis at  Lexis@theJOLTnews.com 

EDITOR'S NOTE: The opinions expressed above are those of Alexis Rae Baker and not necessarily of The JOLT or its staff or board of directors. Alexis Rae Baker is not a licensed psychologist or specialist healthcare professional. Her advice does not replace the care of psychologists or other healthcare professionals.