Green Beret Foundation Spouse of the Year

Shirley Stirling portrait

Bloom where you are planted. That is what Lauren Howard did, helping those near her, first her family and then those around her, throughout 21 years as an Army wife of a Green Beret soldier. She worked hard and gained skills through formal education, as she balanced the many spinning plates of her life. And in 2023, she was recognized at the highest level as Green Beret Foundation Spouse of the Year.  

Her husband continues to serve as a Green Beret, with likely at least 7-8 more years as a service member. And they continue to plow through his challenging schedule, gone over six months each year, often overseas, as she works on the home front. Her focus is two-fold: 1) supporting other Green Beret spouses in their difficult lives trying to maintain a strong family life in the midst of continual disruption; and 2) supporting children with neurodiversity (having brain function that deviates from ‘typical’) and their families.  

The Howards have three children, ages 7, 9, and 14. Lauren was born in Seattle and raised in the Olympia area, and she is proud/happy that her oldest son will graduate from North Thurston High School, as did she and her father – a family tradition.  Though they have traveled around, as military families do, she was happy to move from Fort Bragg in 2013, to Joint Base Lewis-McChord, the backyard of her own hometown. 

Perhaps this joy of returning home helped motivate her to be especially sensitive to those who were far from their families and homes. She knew what it was like to feel lonely and isolated with a one-year-old while her husband and family members were out of reach. Once they were transferred to JBLM, she rolled up her sleeves and, in ten years, logged over 10,000 volunteer hours for the 1st Special Forces Group (Airborne) (1SFG(A)). She served in both the battalion and company-level Family Readiness Group as a point of contact and is currently a battalion-level care team (crisis support) coordinator.  

She has also worked countless hours in the FIRST Spouse Mentorship Program, a program to ensure that spouses receive the connection and support that they need. This is a volunteer group that was formed to replace the Family Readiness Support Assistant program that the Army discontinued a few years ago in most areas. It was lucky that she stepped into the scene when she did as she helped develop this group and adopted a role as “data guru,” conducting extensive research on the measurable program impact. 

According to Lauren, “The program benefited and improved the quality of life of Special Forces spouses, helping them feel connected and cared for while providing them with necessary resources.” And Lauren was gratified that her personal mission to help other spouses was being fulfilled.

Helping spouses was her first mission. The second was also rooted in her personal experiences and the desire to help others cope with issues that she had faced.  

With the birth of their second of three children, they faced a birth with a number of serious health challenges, including a congenital heart defect, Down’s syndrome, other health concerns, and later neurodivergent diagnoses. (The term “neurodivergent” describes people whose brains work differently; they have different strengths and challenges from people whose brains don’t have these differences. The possible differences include medical disorders, learning disabilities, and other conditions.) Eight weeks after the baby’s birth, a life-saving open heart surgery saved his life and only one month later, her husband was deployed to Afghanistan. In 2015, a third son was born, and eventually, all three children had neurodivergent diagnoses.  

It was a long path but taking one step at a time, she met and dealt with a myriad of issues that plague families in the disability and neurodivergent communities. She advocated for others, studied, and served.  She earned a Bachelor of Science from UC Davis, University of California, Davis in Neurobiology, Physiology and Behavior. She joined the Board of Directors (including holding the President role for 2 terms) of a local nonprofit, South Sound Parent to Parent (2017-present) that provides early intervention services in 24 area school districts and other support to families raising persons with disabilities.

Lauren Howard, center, is shown with her friend and employer, Katie McMurray, left, at an event featuring Sensory Tool House.

Lauren has now rejoined the workforce at Sensory Tool House, LLC in Lacey and their business office in Hawks Prairie. It provides a storefront of supplies, which is the tip of the iceberg. The company provides consulting, training, support, and advocacy to help increase accessibility and inclusion in the community while managing a diverse staff of about 16.  

She’s there for the spouses and family members around her, as her husband is for his fellow soldiers. The Army Special Forces, or the Green Berets as dubbed by President John F. Kennedy, often say, “You’re here for the soldiers to your left and your right.” She says, “…shouldn’t the spouses be invested in that, as well?” 

The Green Berets agree, and they have honored and thanked her for her outstanding dedication, resilience, and sacrifice – as our community should also! 

Shirley Stirling, of Lacey, writes about good things people in Thurston County are doing. If you’d like to nominate someone to be profiled, contact her at shirley@theJOLTnews.com or comment below.