What is a caregiver? What exactly is respite care?

Kathleen Anderson

A friend and I were having lunch the other day – just catching up with each other. We have several other friends in common, and lately it seems quite a few of them are going through some rough times.

Two of our friends had recently received potentially devastating health diagnoses and one had lost their spouse after a lengthy illness. 

We were brainstorming ways we could help, when my friend added, “Kathleen, you should really do a column about caregivers.”

She was right – so here it is.

What is a caregiver?

It is easy to think of this title as a paid professional. But as the Greatest Generation and Boomers have aged, there are far more unpaid caregivers than there are professionals.

A caregiver is anyone taking care of someone who needs daily help or support. It may take the form of aid in dressing, eating, bathing, food preparation, or supervised medication oversite. It can also be continual supervision for someone with any form of dementia.

When a husband, wife, parent, grandparent, or child is going through a health crisis that requires someone to be with them at all times, it is easy to focus on the person needing care. Too often, we overlook the person(s) giving that care.

How many times have we heard, in our age group in particular, the caregiver passed before the patient? The answer is too many.

Not everyone can afford or wants paid professional help. Many times the caregiver may have health issues themselves. Family members might live too far away to help or , as America ages, may have their own health issues. So here are some suggestions that may help.

What exactly is respite care?

Respite care can come in a variety of opportunities. One way to help is to select a day and time weekly that you can relieve a family member or friend for a few hours. It will help them to know they can shop, keep needed appointments for themselves or just enjoy some relaxation on a prearranged schedule.

If you can’t do this by yourself every week, find another shared friend(s) to split the month.

If the one needing care can still get out and about, taking them for a ride, to the park or any outing they manage, will give the caregiver some time to themselves.

If your schedule does not allow for a set time and day, taking a prepared meal for lunch or dinner can be a real treat. Older people often do not have big appetites, so small servings that can be frozen can be a real boon for the caregiver, especially if he or she is not the one that usually does the cooking.

Dust can be the enemy of people with breathing problems, so help with house cleaning, vacuuming and laundry can make a big difference in the health of both the caregiver and the patient.

Yardwork can also be a real help. Tending to the garden, mowing, and raking can be done as needed and can get the younger set involved.

Not everyone in our age group is still driving. Grocery deliveries have become a helpful common occurrence since the COVID Pandemic, but no one wants to pay the delivery fee for a carton of milk. A simple phone call before you go to the store, to see if anything is needed, can be a real stress reliever.

Paid Respite:

Another option is finding a care facility that accepts brief respite care stays. There are several such places in Thurston County.

The ability to attend a loved one’s wedding, a class reunion or anything that gives the caregiver a much-needed break, and reconnection with the outside world, helps with not only physical health but the caregivers’ mental state as well.

Listening:

Sometimes caregivers just need to talk…to share their frustrations, fears, and feelings of isolation. An ear is all that is needed for this very special support. No answers, just positive reinforcement of the great job they are doing…and a hug.

I am a great believer in the healing power of hugs.

Kathleen Anderson writes this column each week from her home in Olympia.  Contact her at  kathleen@theJOLTnews.com or post your comment below.