Proactive people gain the power to influence

Alexis Rae Baker

Dear Reader,

My husband and I recently started a new business and started working with a new business mentor. As a part of our daily activities, it was suggested that we begin reading the book 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen R. Covey. And while there are likely many tidbits of information still to be discovered, one piece of information I found too valuable not to share.

It’s all about us taking responsibility. 

Covey describes the story of Viktor Frankl, a Jewish man imprisoned in one of Nazi Germany’s death camps. 

It’s hard to imagine the kinds of horrors this man experienced, but, in the midst of it all, Frankl discovered the power of choice. Despite the circumstances around him, he found a sense of liberty and internal power by choosing to focus on his responses rather than just his circumstances. He based his behavior on his own values rather than blaming them on his conditions. 

In essence, he chose to become proactive, rather than reactive. Covey goes on to describe how we can choose to do the same and create a better life for ourselves, and our families.

Covey describes two areas of focus: the Circle of Concern and the Circle of Influence. 

Circle of Concern: 

Often we are taught to focus on the problem points in our lives (our Circle of Concern) and we spend much of our time focused on others’ weaknesses, issues in our environment, or troublesome circumstances that we can’t control. Many protests and movements center around these very topics; my view is that these problems can only be solved either by someone more powerful or by the majority working together. 

And while the intention is often admirable, my view is that the downside to this approach is that you often wind up alienating people as you try to convince them to “join the fight.” This then spirals even further to where you become jaded against people or disheartened by the lack of caring. You started with the best intentions, but the focus on something outside your control wound up alienating yourself in the process. 

Circle of Influence:

As opposed to the Circle of Concern, proactive people tend to focus on their Circle of Influence (aka they focus on the things they can directly do something about). Every action they take moves them toward a greater goal in an easily discernible way, and as a result, their energy becomes positive. 

Positive, optimistic people tend to be more attractive and appealing, so their Circle of Influence grows and they soon find that they have more power to effect change. 

What’s The Point?

It’s kind of interesting how this plays out, and I can attest to the truths of these concepts in my own life. But, in many ways, these concepts are counterintuitive. Recognizing this truth, though, can drastically alter your life, your approach to change, and your success.

My husband and I often talk about the financial struggle of the majority. About how ridiculous it is that a two-income household often struggles to pay their rent. And while there seems to be much truth in these concepts, the discussions always leave us pissed off, dejected, and hopeless. We can’t change what other people charge for rent and can’t force business owners to ensure their employees earn enough to afford their expenses comfortably. 

And yet, even though we have a business that can potentially take us to a place of greater financial freedom and a mentor who’s already achieved that goal, we still tend to focus on the “bigger problems.” 

The truth of the matter is, though, that if we spent our free time taking action to build our business, we would likely start to see results, gain influence, and could even potentially gain enough influence or wealth to become the landlords or employers, where we can then affect change. 

So, when I say it makes more sense to focus on your own life rather than some greater issue, I’m referring to this. Start with yourself and what you can do right now, and soon you’ll be amazed at how much more you can accomplish. 

~ Lexis

Lexis is Alexis Rae Baker. She writes from her home in Olympia.  Got a question about life, relationships, spirit? Visit her at lexisrae.com or write to Lexis at  Lexis@theJOLTnews.com  

The opinions expressed above are those of the writer and not necessarily those of The JOLT's staff or board of directors.