Path to your dreams


Dear Lexis,

I feel like I've been treading water forever. Every time I try to move forward, things don't seem to work out. I feel like some of the things I tried could have worked out and I just don't understand why they didn't. Do you have any advice or suggestions that could help me shake this bad luck?


Unlucky in Lacey

Dear Unlucky,

Your struggle is very familiar, and something I've struggled with forever in my life (particularly when it comes to establishing an income outside a 9-5). I've tried so many different things, but I never seemed able to gain any traction and I was confused as to why that was until recently.

There are certain paths in life that a smaller percentage of the world pursues. As a result, the path to success is less established, and the signs of movement less obvious (running a business, entering a political field, becoming a scientist, writing a book, even raising children).

*In the case of children, it's not so much that fewer people explore this path, but rather an issue of each child being unique in some way. So, there are general principles that work but there are also circumstances that you can't prepare for.

Because we don't know if we're making progress, or when we can expect some kind of result, we often wind up feeling like we're lost.

You can think of these journeys as treasure hunts. Supposedly the treasure exists, and others have found it before, but while we have done our research, there's still a chance that we're in the wrong place. We know the way back home, but the treasure calls us onward. But, as time wears on, we start to wonder if we should give up and go back to the drawing board. Maybe there was something we missed, something we translated incorrectly, or something we miscalculated.

It's a frustrating, somewhat terrifying endeavor. We face challenge after challenge with no promise of reward. We believe our dreams are achievable, but we can't prove it. You think “maybe those who've reached their goals before were special and I just don't have what it takes.”

But there is a way that you can improve your odds, and that's through finding a guide.

Find the person who's achieved their goal and learn from them. Yes, they may ask for money in return, but if you're serious about achieving your dream, it's usually worth the investment.

Instead of plodding through the forest hoping for some sign of your goal, find someone who can guide you right to it. Ideally, find someone who's guided others there too.

Most of us dream about goals that others have achieved before us, find those people and win their time. Figure out how you can show them how helping you benefits them too.

One-on-one, and in-person, beat out a prerecording course any day. Why? Because now you have someone you can talk to about your daily struggles, latest hiccups, and waning motivation.

If you find someone who's helped others before you, they will have a better system in place. They'll understand the diverse range of struggles that people face when pursuing this dream. That knowledge is hard to replace.

When it comes to achieving your goals, it's more often about who you know, rather than what you know.

Follow the advice provided, take responsibility, put in the work, and continue to push through the pain. All these things combined, virtually guarantee success in the end.

Cheers to your future success.

~ Lexis

Lexis is Alexis Rae Baker. She writes from her home in Olympia.  Got a question about life, relationships, spirit? Visit her at or write to Lexis at  


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