My working through impatience

Alexis Rae Baker

Dear Lexis,

As someone who reads your column, I’m curious what you consider your greatest challenge in life, and why you think it’s important to work on that fault.

Thanks,

Curious in Lacey

Dear Curious,

As I move forward with life, one thing has been made very clear, I have very limited patience. Not so much with other people, but rather with circumstances. Whenever there’s an actionable way for me to improve my life, my expectation is that the change occur right here and now. Unfortunately, this is an unreasonable expectation. And while I know how unrealistic this is, my impatience continues to pop up and I get to relearn how to wait all over again.

In this age of instant gratification, I doubt that I’m the only person who suffers in this fashion. It’s difficult to let results percolate when we can generally get any physical product within a day or two. But, when it comes to things that truly matter, the wait is often part of what makes the result so satisfying.

It’s the concept of a one-night stand vs. a long-term relationship. Often, we seek out that momentary sense of gratification, but wind up worse off than we were without it. Momentary pleasure is one thing, but there’s so much more joy found in a job well done. Finding and cultivating a relationship leads to this greater sense of joy because we know that we’ve accomplished a challenging task, and the longer you remain married, the greater the “bragging rights”. However, because we’ve gotten so used to momentary pleasures, we’ve, in many ways, lost our ability to wait. And, as the saying goes, “All good things in life come to those who wait.”

So, as frustrating as it is for us to do, I would encourage anyone who struggles with patience, like me, to seek out those frustrating situations that you avoid, because that’s where you will find the greatest growth. Practice living with the discomfort of not having what you want for a while, and persist through the difficult moments. And if you can do that, if you can push through, the reward on the other side will be that much sweeter.

~ Lexis

Lexis is Alexis Rae Baker. She writes from her home in Olympia.  Got a question about life, relationships, spirit? Visit her at lexisrae.com or write to Lexis at  Lexis@theJOLTnews.com 

EDITOR'S NOTE: The opinions expressed above are those of Alexis Rae Baker and not necessarily of The JOLT or its staff or board of directors. Alexis Rae Baker is not a licensed psychologist or specialist healthcare professional. Her advice does not replace the care of psychologists or other healthcare professionals.