Olympia School Board members air grievances about overheard comment

Note: This article continues “Tensions flare at Olympia School Board summer retreat,” published in The JOLT last Tuesday.

During the Olympia School Board’s summer retreat on Saturday, Aug. 10, in North Mason County, several hours were devoted to a personal-feelings debriefing on the conflict over the proposed closure of two elementary schools during the past school year.

In the midst of that discussion, conflict about a remark overheard a year and a half ago resurfaced. While nobody specifically stated what had happened, their discussion indicated that Director Darcy Huffman had, in a conversation with Director Hilary Seidel, used “the N-word,” and then-director Talauna Reed overheard it.

In an article from the school district, Reed identified herself as the first black person to serve on the Olympia School District Board of Directors. She was appointed to serve a one-year term representing District 2.

Seidel confirmed that the comment arose in a conversation between her and Huffman, and the word was something Huffman was repeating. “This was a conversation that I thought, until then, was part of a conversation Darcy and I had where Darcy was sharing something that someone had said to her,” Seidel explained.

Huffman stated that she has apologized many times for the remark. “I feel like I have apologized for my mistake. I have said I'm sorry more than once to many people outside of, outside of board meetings,” she stated.

“I spent my time working with our coach to help me get past some of the anger that I had in other instances that I am not going to bring up in this meeting, but know that I, or I hope that you know, that I have apologized, and I will continue to apologize to people when they ask me to. And so I apologize to you for saying that word, and I hope that you can accept that,” Huffman added.

Director Jess Tourtellotte-Palumbo weighed in on the matter. “Darcy writes a little note to me: ‘I appreciate my budding relationship with Jess. She's helping me see equity through a whole new lens.’”

Tourtellotte-Palumbo then told Huffman, “Avoiding the more in-depth apology when that person who was there heard it or who's asking for it, that's not their work. That's your work.

“And the thing is, by not actually apologizing to the person who was a former director and the only black director who only served on this board, that acknowledgment, regardless of whether she's there or not, because she meant something to black children. She meant something to black staff and other folks who work within our district.

“And I think even though you did an apology, the ability to say her publicly, like to acknowledge that she experienced hurt in her role as your colleague, that has to happen, because otherwise it's telling all those people that are crippled that they don't matter,” she stated.

Huffman responded to Tourtellotte-Palumbo, “You also know that I have an apology ready to give to her, but giving it to somebody, giving it to somebody who is not there, seems disingenuous to me. In my faith – in my faith upbringing, right – when you hurt somebody, you apologize to them face to face. Don't send it out, you know, in a place where they are not or they are not there. 

“And, and, and, so I am waiting for her to come, and maybe I should ask her to come to a meeting so that I can, so that I can apologize to her, but I – and it was a lot of freaking work for me to get there, because there is so much anger and so much shit that people do not understand, that I went through when she was on the board, that it has taken me a long time to get there.

“And I'm not going to say I'm sorry about that, because it's my, because I count, too. But I have done the work to get there where I can apologize to her and mean it and be sincere. But she's not, now she's not there,” Huffman remarked.

She continued, “So I, I, I'm sorry. I feel a little bit like Scott, sitting over here just blowing up, but I feel like I have done nothing but apologize for a year and a half for a mistake I made. I made it. I've apologized. I've done the work. I'm ready to apologize, and I personally, I'm ready to move on.

“And I have done so much work in that 18 months. I, and it's just like this thorn that I just keep stepping on over and over and over again.”

Director Scott Clifthorne, who led the meeting and facilitated this discussion activity, weighed in. “I know, and you know, that this has been challenging for Darcy. It’s been a lot of work to try to work through it. So it's brave of you to re-raise it, knowing the temperature check.”

Tourtellotte-Palumbo told Huffman that Reed would never return, but that Huffman still needs to apologize to her, whether she is present or not.

Director Maria Flores spoke up. “I could hear what you're saying, Jess, and what you're saying, Darcy, and I can appreciate your vulnerability and having, emoting, and having emotion and being angry and frustrated and upset and crying.”

Flores also spoke at length about race, history, and racial identity. She also cautioned Huffman that there may be no end to this issue. “But here's the other thing, there might be non-closure, Darcy. It might come up forever because it still hurts people, and that's something that you're going to have to come to peace with, because that's the impact that sometimes happens. And, you know, sometimes it just, it just stays. I don't know how to – but everyone sees the work you're doing, and we appreciate it.”

Speaking on these matters of race, Clifthorne commented. “I think this was something that was implicit in something Darcy and Maria also just shared. You know, we, we live in a space where we are, are saturated in racism, sexism, patriarchy, those forms of implicit bias and social power.

“We can all do our level best to get out from under all of those things with cognitive work, and there's always still residual ways in which that's going to show up, and how we behave, how we think. And the idea that I don't, I don't take any offense of the idea that something I said is patriarchal. As the white male serving on our school board, it's a weird social space to occupy. And I appreciate opportunities to hear about that and work on those things, because on a political and cognitive level, I'm completely committed to combatting patriarchy. And of course, there are ways in which I'm going to perpetuate it,” he added.

A member of the public who was present at the meeting commented to The JOLT about the music Clifthorne played during the meeting while the board members were writing. “Clifthorne said the silence was deafening and turned on music. At this time, I heard the n-word in some of the song lyrics,” she stated. The board members did not comment on that use of the word in question.