I identify as the gender I was assigned at birth, female. To the best of my knowledge I have XX chromosomes. I have met two people in my life with XXY chromosomes - or at least two people who have trusted me with that information, I may have met more. Division into male and female is not as straightforward as it seems. Some people can be demonstrated to fit into neither XX nor XY. So there’s that. If you have three *** chromosomes, should you ignore one to fit in? Which one? Search “inter***” if you want to read about people’s experience with that.
There is so much to address in what you have written here. I would like to take up one thing that you stated. “ If I decided to declare myself male, I doubt that I would experience the world any differently unless I took drastic measures to change my appearance. “ so, you don’t know whether you would or wouldn’t. There’s a way to find out. I’d like to challenge you to try that and see if you experience the world any differently. I would encourage wearing clothing generally associated with males, so that you also experience how the world around you changes based on how it perceives you. It might be different than how you experience things in female garb. You also stated that you have not felt female. If you spend a day in the other shoes, you might be able to find some of what being female feels like when you get back into the shoes you are comfortable in, so to speak. Continuing the metaphor, you may find that you have gendered bunions you never realized were there. I really hope that you take a day, or several, and try it. And that if you do, you write about it here. I would be fascinated to read it.
Like you, I have never precisely questioned or felt uncomfortable with being female. I am not particularly uncomfortable to be mistaken for male, either. However, having worked primarily in male-dominated industries including construction, I have more frequently than you can imagine wished to be mistaken for merely a PERSON. Oh, to be told, “You do nice work“! Instead of, “You do nice work for a girl“. But that is a little off-topic, I think.
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