What’s your story?

Glenn Harper

Gloria Towne | All Around Towne Photography

As surely as you were born, you have a story. We often forget how important that story is and that we have a degree of authorship in terms of the story we tell ourselves about ourselves, the world, and our place in it.

If we’re not mindful of the stories we tell ourselves, we can cause ourselves, and others, unneccesary suffering. Carl Jung said, “The world will ask who you are, and if you do not know, the world will tell you.”

In today’s world of electronic screens at every turn and the 24-hour media onslaught, it’s easy to lose track of ourselves and be swept away by by narratives not our own. It takes a conscious effort to bring ourselves back to ourselves, and to tend our own stories rather than passively losing ourselves in news and entertainment written by others with their own agendas and interests in mind.

As an example of how one might edit the story they are running in their minds, consider these two objectively true statements:

The world is dark and full of terrors. Life is uncertain, its end is near and everywhere evil men are causing destruction and suffering.

The world is full of light, life and love. In every environment, not matter how harsh, life finds a way. Everywhere there are compassionate, heroic people doing good work to the benefit of others.

Both stories are true, but as the saying goes, “Energy flows where attentions goes,” so I ask which one serves me best? We are free to choose which story we take to heart to occupy our time and attention. I know I’m gulity of spending too much time “doom scrolling,” telling myself I need to stay informed about possible threats.

Fortunately, I eventually wake up to the fact that I’m loading my noggin with anxiety fuel when I could be looking for stories and information that have a positive effect on my mind and in the world. Seek and ye shall find.

Other stories that we might tell ourselves are about what’s right, what’s fair, what we deserve, or don’t deserve. It’s reasonable that we might spend some time investigating these areas of our stories, but if the first person narrator gets stuck and keeps recounting the same slights, injuries and injustices, the story becomes less interesting and enjoyable, for both teller and listener.

As it pertains to elderhood, attention to our stories is more important than ever!

In his excellent book, "From Age-ing to Sage-ing," Zalmon Schachter-Shalomi (co-authored with Ronald S. Miller) says a question elders should ask themselveves is: Are you saved?

He explains that this is not a proselytizing altar call, but an invitation to think about your legacy. He uses the analogy of working on a long document on your computer and having the power go out. If you haven’t saved your document, it is lost.

Similarly, if you haven’t transmitted your life lessons to your loved ones, or said the things you want, or need, to say, an important part of your life’s work may be lost.

As we get older, our bodies decline and our roles in the world contract. It seems like when we get near the end of writing our life’s story, our pencil is only about an inch long and the eraser is completely gone. It’s much harder to write with and it’s tempting to to throw it away in frustration. But maybe we can take the extra care and attention necessary to make the last lines the best they can possibly be, maybe even adding a curlicue or other flourish the words “The End”

As I hope some of you know, the Elderhood Senior Alliance is facilitating Elderhood Roundtables in the Lacey library and soon in the Olympia library, as well as other venues to be announced. At these informal elder social gatherings, we will be setting aside time for a feature called "What’s Your Story?" We will invite anyone who cares to tell a part of their story for up to five minutes uninterrupted.

Additionally, elders are encouraged to send in submissions of 700 words or less to glenn@thejoltnews.com. These can be about when you were a young worldbeater, or about your experience of aging, or anything else you want to share with the world.

Events in the week ahead

"Over The Edge," returning to Huntamer Park on June 13.

This is your chance to rappel down a building while raising funds to support older adults in our community through Senior Services for South Sound.

No rappelling experience required — Over The Edge's professional tech team provides the training, equipment, and guidance you need to safely reach the ground.

Death Cafe at Vert Chiropractic

If you don't know what a Death Cafe is, it is an event where people, often strangers, gather to eat cake, drink tea and discuss death.

Glenn Harper provides support in aging and end of life. He is Chair of the Lewis-Mason-Thurston Area Agency on Aging Advisory Council and board member of the Senior Action Network. He facilitates several free Death Cafe and Elderhood Roundtable gatherings in the area where Elders are invited to talk about difficult topics in a nonjudgmental space. Learn more about these events here.