What if? 

Glenn Harper

Gloria Towne | All Around Towne Photography

Many of the questions that occupy our minds mostly begin with “What if ... ?" 

What if my partner leaves me? 

What if I get sick? 

What if I can’t afford medical care? 

What if my insurance isn’t enough? 

What if they won’t cover my claim? 

What if I don’t have enough money to last if I live a long time? 

What if Social Security runs out? 

What if there’s a nuclear war? 

What if there’s an extinction level meteor/asteroid with Earth’s name on it? 

What if global warming has already gone too far? 

What if society falls into anarchy? 

Etc, etc, etc.

Well, I have good news for you! A Penn State University study on Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) had participants track their daily worries.

The study found that 91.4 percent of the things they feared never actually happened. For the other 8.6 percent, participants found they handled the outcome better than expected. (1) 

The bad news is a study led by researchers at CU Boulder and the Icahn School of Medicine at Mount Sinai, which was published in Neuron (and detailed by CU Boulder Today), demonstrated that imagining a threat engages the exact same neural networks and physiological responses as experiencing an actual real threat. (2) 

 The primary stress-induced chemicals involved are cortisol and adrenaline. While vital for survival, chronic stress keeps them elevated, triggering a harmful byproduct called oxidative stress. This process releases damaging free radicals that damage cells, proteins, and DNA, which can lead to inflammation and disease. (3)

In addition to having all those harmful chemicals wreaking havoc on our bodies, we suffer the mental anguish of having our attention captured by an unpleasant illusion when in reality we are most likely in a safe and comfortable environment with no imminent threats at all. 

It has been said that worrying is like rocking in a rocking chair — it seems like you’re doing something, but it doesn’t get you anywhere. 

The ancient Chinese sage, Lao Tzu, said, “Chase after money and security and your heart will never unclench.” 

So far, these “What if” questions seem pretty detrimental to human health and happiness. But what if I could show you a “What if” question that could undo a lot of the anxiety brought on by the other "what ifs." 

 What if I knew I was going to die in a few days? 

 While there is a greater than zero percent chance that this may be true for any of us, as well as a 100 percent chance, depending on what you count as a few days, this can also helpful meditation. 

 “Beyond meditation practice, there is attitude. A beginner must learn to cultivate what is called, 'the poise of a dying man.' What is this poise? It is the poise of knowing what is important and what is not, and of being accepting and forgiving. Anyone who has ever been at the bedside of a dying man will understand this poise. What would the dying man do if someone were to insult him? Nothing. What would the dying man do if someone were to strike him? Nothing. As he lay there, would he scheme to become famous or wealthy? No. If someone who had once offended him were to ask him for his forgiveness would he not give it? Of course he would. A dying man knows the pointlessness of enmity. Hatred is always such a wretched feeling. Who wishes to die feeling hatred in his heart? No one. The dying seek love and peace.” 

— Hsu Yun, Chinese Buddhist Master 

 When we look honestly at the fact of our own impermanence, the truth of the saying, “Don’t sweat the small stuff ... and it’s all small stuff,” comes to light. 

If we are constantly striving to evade or deny our own aging and mortality, we fill our days with various futile efforts trying to hold back the tide of life, or distract ourselves from the universal truth all mortals face — we have an expiration date. 

I have a saying that blends Buddhism and capitalism: “Life — it’s a limited time offer! Act now while the supply lasts!” 

In our avoidance of facing death, we may find at the end we have succeeded in distracting ourselves from life itself and we may wish to have that time back. 

 If it happens that some unhoped for “What if” associated with aging lands on your doorstep, you can reach out to the Lewis-Mason-Thurston Area Agency on Aging at 360-664-2168 or click here. They can connect you with local resources addressing many of the challenges faced by seniors. 

 If you’d like to share your thoughts, feel free to put them in the comments. If you have an idea for a story or topic you’d like to see covered, email Glenn@thejoltnews.com. 

Glenn Harper provides support in aging and end of life. He is Chair of the Lewis-Mason-Thurston Area Agency on Aging Advisory Council and board member of the Senior Action Network.  He facilitates several free Death Cafe and Elderhood Roundtable gatherings in the area where Elders are invited to talk about difficult topics in a nonjudgmental space. Learn more about these events here.