Things: You can’t live without them, but you can’t take them with you 

Glenn Harper

Gloria Towne | All Around Towne Photography

The word "thing" originally meant an assembly where Germanic tribes and Vikings met to settle disputes.

This origin remains today in names like Iceland’s parliament, the Al thing (1). Later, it came to refer to the particular items of discussion at the "thing." This might have led to Abbot and Costello-like conversations like: 

“What did you think about that thing at the thing?” 

“Which thing?” 

“The thing we went to last week.” 

“Not the whole thing, the part about planning the next thing.” 

“Oh, the thing is, planning things really isn’t my thing.” 

Over the centuries, it shifted to mean physical belongings or property, and eventually grew into our modern word for any physical or abstract object. That’s one versatile word.

The things I want to talk about pertaining to elderhood are both physical and abstract. We spend our lives acquiring things: money, cars, houses, clothes, dishes, furniture, tools, art, books, collectibles, etc., and as we near the finish line, we realize that we can’t take them with us and our offspring have no interest in keeping them.

Many young people today are more interested in experiences than they are things and the cost of housing makes maintaining space to store stuff expensive. I marvel at the idea of mini-storage warehouses, where people basically rent apartments for their stuff. Monthly rent on 100 square feet of space is about what the mortgage was on my first house! 

According to George Carlin, storing things is all a house is for: 

“That’s what your house is, a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get…more stuff!” 

Many of us have things of great sentimental value that belonged to someone who has left this world. These artifacts are like a talisman that can summon the ghosts of departed loved ones and days gone by. This magic is often lost on more recent generations. Photo albums lose their relevance as our predecessors recede further back in time from recent memory.  

If we were to die tomorrow, what sort of hoard would our heirs be left to sort out? Swedish death cleaning ("döstädning") is a thoughtful decluttering method designed to remove excess belongings so surviving loved ones are not burdened with them later. 

This concept first came to prominence in Margareta Magnusson’s 2018 bestselling book, "The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning: How to Free Yourself and Your Family from a Lifetime of Clutter."

Core steps of Swedish Death Cleaning 
 

• Start early: Begin managing your belongings while you are still in good health, regardless of your age.  

• Tackle large, non-sentimental items first: Begin with big items like furniture or easy categories like closets and pantry goods to build momentum. 

• Sort into four categories: Divide possessions into keep, donate/gift, sell, and trash/recycle.  

• Ask two hard questions: For items you hesitate over, ask: "Do I use it?" and "Will anyone be happier if I keep it?" If both answers are no, let it go.  

• Gift items now: If someone in your family wants a specific possession, give it to them now so you can share the story behind it. 

• Save sentimental items for last: Leave photographs, letters, and childhood heirlooms until the end, so you do not get emotionally stalled early on. 

• Organize digital and paper records: Gather important financial documents, passwords, and digital files to simplify tasks for your executor.  

• Create a private throwaway box: Pack personal items that only matter to you in a box clearly labeled to be discarded after you pass away. 

In ancient China, there was an emperor who prized a stallion above all in his empire. He even paid servants to capture its urine and store it in crocks. For what purpose isn’t clear, but ancient Chinese are famously inscrutable. 

One day, while the emperor was admiring his stallion in the pasture, a mosquito landed on the horse’s backside. “Oh no you don’t you thief! You’ll not get a single drop his blood!” When he slapped the mosquito, the horse kicked the emperor in the head, killing him. Afterward, the horse went about grazing in the field as if nothing had happened. 

The moral is: Don’t put your love into things that can’t love you back. 

One more thing

On Thursday, Oct. 8, there will be an Elderhood Roundtable at the Olympia Library at 1 p.m. In addition to friendly and honest conversations about aging, we will have a rock painting demonstration. Absolutely free. Click here for details. 

Glenn Harper provides support in aging and end of life. He is Chair of the Lewis-Mason-Thurston Area Agency on Aging Advisory Council and board member of the Senior Action Network. He facilitates several free Death Cafe and Elderhood Roundtable gatherings in the area where Elders are invited to talk about difficult topics in a nonjudgmental space. Learn more about these events here.