Thursday, October 1, 2026
I’ve never felt so loved by this community as I have this week, and I’ve never needed that love more. Readers of this column have been a light in this darkness.
Thank you for all the kind words, especially the ones urging me to use my stroke as a chance to write in new ways. With that in mind, this week I’m exploring a few places on our periphery — geographic and otherwise.
At 23 inches tall, the little rock for which Littlerock, Washington, is named isn’t actually that little, but it gets worse: it’s no longer in Littlerock. The town’s borders were redrawn, and now the rock sits in Rochester. While Rochester is a perfectly good name for any stone’s home, not having the famous little rock in Littlerock feels like a little injustice.
For decades, the rock served as a makeshift stepladder for getting up or down from the animals people used for transportation. These presumably included horses. The oldest house in Thurston County, which served as the region’s first U.S. Post Office (1862), stands just behind the rock. People still stop to take pictures of both.
A dozen or so miles outside Olympia, deep in Capital Forest, sits Bordeaux: a long-abandoned logging town. It’s a jungled graveyard where the concrete hips and iron ribs of its structures have been reclaimed by trees and vines. These are the remains of a hospital, post office, school, church, and a dozen other buildings.
This ghost town is a perfect site for a post-apocalyptic movie or a weird picnic. Climbing among the ruins, towers, and numerous cement pyramids along the little river — one can only guess at what occurred here over a hundred years ago when this was one of the largest cities in Thurston County. Courtney Love owned Bordeaux for a few years. There’s a rumor that it’s where Kurt Cobain’s ashes were scattered.
In the spring of 2016, I ran an aggressive and downright messy campaign for mayor of Bordeaux, Washington. I’m not proud of my tactics — the smear campaigns, the attack ads — but they worked. I won in a landslide. The fact that Bordeaux has a population of zero doesn’t change anything. Being the mayor of a ghost town is still an achievement. It was a pleasure to lead this dystopia. Now I’m running again, unopposed like last time. Cast your ballot on a snail's shell, a passing grebe, or a sword fern.
A few miles south of Olympia, Mima Mounds dimple the prairies in neat rows. These humps of dirt may have formed hundreds or thousands of years ago. Their origins are debated. Today, they are part of a national landmark.
A visit offers stunning views of miniature hills rolling out as far as the eye can see. Most of the mounds are only about 10 feet across and 4 feet high. A recent study gave greater support to what had long been considered among the wilder and less likely hypotheses — gophers made them. The study used a sped-up computer model to show the effects of tunneling rodents over hundreds of years.
Other origin studies of equal credibility have looked at the effect of wind-blown debris trapped in low shrubs, shrinkage and swelling of clay in the soil, and the way seismic waves bounce through the unique soil composition of Olympia’s southern prairies.
There are more than a few wilder theories. One involves an undocumented group of ancient people who supposedly built the mounds as templates for a massive fish-net-making operation. There’s a theory concerning a meandering stream of saltwater, the exodus of an artificial tsunami triggered by space alien landscape artists.
Another claims the mounds are the abandoned shelters of prehistoric goat-sized ants. My favorite theory concerns an ice-age-era group of blue-skinned mystics who descended from their northern frozen wilderness to maintain the mounds as sculptural calendars. I’m also quite fond of the theory that the mounds were mashed into the ground by the hooves of mammoths as mastodon masturbation mumps.
There are a few hundred other theories, which leads me to suggest my own: that the true purpose of the Mima Mounds is to spark the imagination, especially of anyone bored enough to list the theories. Regardless of what force or combination of forces you believe created the Mima Mounds, it’s a beautiful place to visit any time of year. In the spring, the wildflowers and rare butterflies are amazing.
A few years ago, a store in downtown Olympia where I work as the maintenance man had me take down an old display case from the exterior of the building. For years, it had served as a community billboard. I repaired the box and attached it to a telephone pole about a mile away, along with a waterproof dropbox for submissions. Both are still in place, but recently a notice was taped to the box demanding its removal. I want to encourage you to visit the corner of Thurston and Central before they take it down.
Washington state does not have common law marriage. However, in Olympia, there are a number of other "common laws" to be mindful of. Be careful: in this city, after a certain time, if you do certain things, you will become that thing legally. This list includes a zoo, a circus, a morgue, a prison, a gas station, a dump, or any performance that involves number two ("shit shows").
Last month, David Scherer Water had a stroke. He’s expected to make a full recovery. He is, however, struggling with a recently aggravated version of a lifelong problem: readers sometimes have difficulty telling which parts are satire and which are meant as useful info for the community. If you’re confused by his community billboard or this column, we’d like to remind you that Thurston County is home to an inordinate number of overeducated creative types who can assist, many of whom work pro bono. If you’d like to help David with his medical bills and keep this strange civic service going, please consider becoming a paid subscriber and reading more of his work here.
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Snevets
Cheers to good health and a good sense of humor!
Wednesday, November 19, 2025 Report this
Laceyreader11
Best wishes for recovery. I loved this article and the enlightening tidbits in it. Community Billboard must stay!!
Wednesday, November 19, 2025 Report this
Musicfan12b
What a bummer! You know good things should happen to good people and it just isn't fair. You have my positive energy coming your way! Your articles are consistently infuriating and wonderful. You decide which parts are which.
You make a difference, David and my world is better because you write articles for the JOLT.
Thursday, November 20, 2025 Report this
SecondOtter
It's interesting that the ""owner"" of the telephone pole calls themselves "the phone company.' My father worked for Bell Telephone for forty years. Bell was the best phone company in the world, now it's a mishmash of nitwits like "Century Link" aka "Lumen". None of the companies that came after Bell was dissolved put in any poles except when one was knocked over by a drunk or just detiorated. So is the 'owner' of the phone pole named Alexander Graham Bell? Is "the owner" also going to attack the various companies like" fiber optics, landlines (which Century Link refuses to maintain or provide landline service to rural areas, and are still using equipment they inherited from US West) who have lines, wires and other things on the pole?
Is the owner also attacking Puget Sound Energy? Because they often run power lines above phone lines.
Also, telephone poles are on what is termed 'right-of-way'. That's the strip of land in front of your home that belongs to the COUNTY. The 'owner' cannot legally tell you to 'stay off his property' when it isn't. The County has the say.
I also find it interesting that the footnote in teeny print has a recipe, it sounds as if they are going to hit you with a plateful of food.
It's interesting that the person saying they asked you 'nicely' hasn't provided their name. They also say they're able to found on the internet. Still anonymous. They want me to snap the QR code. Maybe doing so will infect my phone with a virus? Malware? Identity theft?
I guess if the samples of notes on the board itself are any indication, (I can only read "Lost Fog), maybe I can see their objections. If you're using it solely for posting things only you have written, maybe they have a case.
But I suspect it's a case of the ''owner' just is a pisssant with nothing better to do than stare out their window and tell the squirrels to stay off his lawn.
Thursday, November 20, 2025 Report this
Boatyarddog
@SecondOtter.... its Probably "Southsoundguy" and Buddies.
Thursday, November 20, 2025 Report this
Boatyarddog
YOU ARE LOVED! David. BELOVED Mayor of Bordeaux. BE WELL friend!
Thursday, November 20, 2025 Report this
Chappellg
Thanks for another fun & crazy article, David. I was delighted to hear of & see the Littlerock (to be used to get up on a horse?). I’ll be happy to vote for you for a second term as Mayor of Bordeaux, even tho I don’t live there.
And I wish for you Refuah Schlema, complete healing—and soon.
Friday, November 21, 2025 Report this