Introducing 'This Week in the Elderhood'

Glenn Harper

Portrait by Gloria Towne - All Around Towne Photography

Aging is challenging. We shouldn't have to face it alone. To paraphrase a country song, "Let's fall to pieces together. Why should we all fall apart?"

It is apt that this first column is coming out in May, which is Older Americans Month. The theme this year is "Champion Your Health," highlighting prevention, wellness and self-management for healthy aging.

Led by the Administration for Community Living (ACL), it emphasizes the contributions of older adults and encourages taking an active role in maintaining our own health through self-management, engagement with community partners and informed decision making.

Elderhood, as it pertains to the name of this column, is shorthand for elder-neighborhood, referring to our local community of people and organizations who support Elders in navigating the challenges, and finding the rewards, that accompany the final chapters of our lives.

In addition to the Elders themselves, this community consists of family caregivers, nonprofits, government agencies, companies providing in-home care, assisted living, skilled nursing and memory care, as well as counseling and placement assistance, to name a few.

This column will provide information about local resources supporting our aging and end of life journeys, as well as opportunities where Elders can connect. The U.S. Surgeon General has determined that isolation and loneliness are as bad for our health as smoking.

What is the difference in an Elder and an old person? An Elder is one who has come to terms with the inescapable facts of of aging and death, and is consciously making the most of the wisdom gained from their life experiences for themselves and the people around them. Some old people deny the reality of aging and throw tantrums when their world is changing in ways they don’t approve. They are not Elders.

Childhood is a time of tales in which the heroes overcome perils and live “happily ever after.: Elderhood begins when we realize that the reality of life is that perils don’t stop, and we grow old and die, if we’re lucky.

Of course, there are many rewards that come with increased depth of experience, perspective and wisdom. The years teach much which the days never know.

If we can manage it, a good credo might be — Surrender gracefully the gifts of youth. Be grateful for what remains. Be curious about what’s to come.

Two brief stories

In her book, "Elderhood," geriatric Dr. Louise Aronson, talks about seeing aged patients suffering from dehydration appearing almost as skeletons at death’s door. After receiving intravenous fluids, the change was remarkable, as if the patients had a miraculous recovery — causing them to plump back up, even restoring the color to their cheeks.

Dr. Aronson goes on to say she witnessed something similar when she would stop by a listless patient sitting slumped in a hospital hallway. Simply by saying, “Hello,” smiling and sharing some kind attention, she noted they seemed to grow taller and come alive, like sunflowers in the sun. This is a valuable service we can all render, even if we’re in a wheelchair or using a walker.

Fortunately, we live in an amazing community of organizations and caring souls serving our Elders. Here are three you should get to know:

Lewis Mason Thurston Area Agency on Aging (LMTAAA)

LMTAAA is a federally funded agency that provides many essential resources to allow seniors to remain in their homes and community for as long as possible, as well as supports for family caregivers of elderly relatives.

From the LMTAAA website: "We support our communities in living with dignity, choice, and independence by helping keep people where they want to be, in their homes and communities, for as long as possible which can help delay more costly long-term services and support."

Senior Services for South Sound

Founded in 1973, Senior Services for South Sound has been dedicated to supporting seniors in our community for more than 50 years. Our mission is to enhance the quality of life for people as they age.

They provide Meals on Wheels and congregate meals at locations in Thurston and Mason counties, senior transportation, health and wellness programs, trips and tours, adult learning classes, and many other activities and programs at Virgil Clarkson Lacey Senior Center and Olympia Senior Center.

Senior Action Network

Senior Action Network (SAN) consists of over 100 member businesses and organizations in Thurston, Mason and Lewis counties dedicated to enhancing the lives of seniors through business development, resources and services.

Senior Action Network’s annual South Sound Dementia Conference is Friday, May 29, from 9 a.m. to 2 p.m. at the Lacey Community Center.

This year’s theme is "Caring for the Caregiver." This informative and supportive event brings together experts and community members to explore practical strategies, resources, and insights for those caring for individuals living with dementia.

The conference will feature keynote speaker Laura Vaillancourt, MA, LMHC, GMHS — founder of Eldercare Counseling and Guidance Services and host of the "Life on Repeat" podcast — along with additional speakers offering valuable perspectives on dementia care.

Lunch will be provided, but SAN suggests a $10 donation. Join us for a day of learning, connection and support for caregivers in our community.

Check back here each week to learn about what’s going on in the exciting world of aging in Thurston County and how you can participate.  After all, since we can’t avoid getting older, we might as well lean into it and learn the lessons it has to teach.

Glenn Harper provides support in aging and end of life. He is Chair of the Lewis Mason Thurston Area Agency on Aging Advisory Council and board member of the Senior Action Network. He facilitates several free Death Cafe and Elderhood Roundtable gatherings in the area where Elders are invited to talk about difficult topics in a nonjudgmental space. Learn more about these events here.