What, really, to call a grandmother?

Kathleen Anderson

If I let my mind wander, (and I often do) it comes back with a plethora of strange and wonderful questions…for instance; who came up with the idea of mustard? How many mustard seeds does it take to make a jar of mustard? Ketchup I understand. Someone, long ago, probably stepped on a tomato. But mustard seeds? Even if you stepped on a bunch of them, I suspect they would look a tad bit unappetizing. And next came the different types of mustard. I could go on but I’ll spare you.

Recently I was talking with a friend about the variations of the words used for Mothers and Fathers of Mothers and Fathers. Many of my friends called their grandparents Grandmother and Grandfather. Today those terms seem rather formal.

I was in my late 30’s when I became a grandmother for the first time, and after coming to the conclusion that this incredible little creature was never going to call me Ms. Anderson, I settled on Granny. At the time I thought it was funny – my nine-year-old daughter, however, did not.

Time went on and more grandchildren came along and Granny stuck. When one of them reached her teens apparently “Granny” did not sound very hip. So, she changed it to “The Grandster”. What can I say? She was a teenager.

And it was a little more upscale than the five-year-old grandchild who introduced me to her friend as the “old mother”, or the adorable two-year-old great grandbaby who often refers to me as “silly old granny”.

As time passed and the great-grandchildren began to arrive, I noticed I was holding my head a little higher. Since none of their mothers chose to be called Granny, my title was safe. Interestingly enough they stuck with Grandma, Nana and Nonna. The fathers pretty much went with Poppa, which made family gatherings pretty interesting. I should mention that these grandparents were all pretty young boomers and even Grandma was a stretch for their self-images.

I was very excited to become a Great Grandmother and immediately started a family-wide campaign to be addressed hitherto as “Your Greatness”. Needless to say, this went over like a lead balloon. I reminded them all, more than once, if it were not for me, none of them would exist.  Nobody cared. I suspect they secretly believed they would have arrived here anyway without any help from me.

So, Granny it remains.

Now my first great-great grandchild is on the way. And God willing and the creek don’t rise, I will the first in my family to be around for this monumental event. It will be a boy and he will be loved and adored by all. And I will be his Granny. A great-great one to be sure, but a Granny nonetheless.

I know I am not alone in this special status, regardless of titles. And I know I am not the only grandparent, at any stage of these titles, who KNOWS their grandchildren are among some of the most talented, amusing, intelligent and best-looking kids on the planet.

So, here’s my thought – I propose we start a “Grandparents of the Most Beautiful Babies Club”, right here in Thurston County. It will only take a grandchild (or more) to join. We could make little badges so we can recognize each other in public. We can address each other by your desired title, share pictures and precious moments.

And if you don’t have a grandchild of your own, you can borrow one from a friend.  Everyone is welcome to join. And maybe we can persuade  Danny Stusser, our esteemed JOLT publisher, to post pictures of our members on Grandparents Day, next September.

I’m in – and you?

Kathleen Anderson writes this column each week.  Contact her at  kathleen@theJOLTnews.com or post your comment below.