The warmth of a wave

Kathleen Anderson

Waving, in my humble opinion, is a method of communication that deserves more recognition than it currently receives.

Babies use waving as one of the first of many methods to communicate. A simple hand wave says, I see you, hello, or goodbye and is usually accompanied by a big smile. 

Adults use hand waving to communicate the same messages and more…like “do you see me?” and “oh, I am so happy to see you!”

In small towns waving seem to be more prevalent than in larger cities. In the tiny town where I spent most of my adult life it was required. And if you did not respond to a wave you were called to task about it.

“I waved at you when you drove by, and you didn’t wave back. Is everything all right”? Or “I waved at you at the grocery store, and you didn’t wave back. Didn’t you see me”?

And if we spotted a neighbor in San Francisco (a mere 45 minutes up the road) waving was most likely done with flailing arms, followed by major hugs, even if we had seen them the day before.

One resident in this tiny town waved so enthusiastically, with all of her fingers, I began to wonder if she was using morse code.

Idaho is known for its large population of retired peace officers. When asked why so many cops retired there, one former police officer responded, “People here wave at you with all their fingers”.

I currently live on a private road along with eleven other families and if we spot one another walking our dogs, or driving by, we wave.  But I don’t see waving very often in the rest of Thurston County.

Why?

After all, waving is free. It’s fun and it is doable by almost everyone. It is a nonverbal way of telling someone they matter. It’s a way of welcoming new neighbors, greeting old friends, and delighting babies. Other than a wave back, it demands nothing in return. Perhaps most importantly of all, it is a way to connect with another human being, even if that other human being is a stranger.

It can convey the message that I see you. It is a ‘feel good’ acknowledgment. It feels good to give and it feels good to receive.

Now if you are wondering why I chose to go off on this tangent today it is because of all the negativity we are bombarded with daily.

I can’t fix the war in Ukraine. I can’t control the mouths of the politicians or what comes out of them. I can’t build sidewalks in Olympia, pick a better site for another airport, or choose a prime minister for England that can hang onto their job for more than a few days.

But I can wave at someone who might just need to know somebody sees them. And so can you…so get those hands, fingers, and wrists warmed up and start waving…I’ll be watching…and waving back.

Kathleen Anderson writes this column each week from her home in Olympia.  Contact her at  kathleen@theJOLTnews.com or post your comment below.