The Growing Problem of Elder Abuse: Part 2

Here are five actual examples of elder abuse that I have personally witnessed.

 Senior # 1 – Non-ambulatory/bedridden senior. Has a caregiver during the day. Her daughter stays with her at night. However, her daytime caregiver sleeps on the couch all day because she works all night.

Senior # 2 – “My caregiver’s car quit running so I gave her the keys to my car so she could still come to work. She hasn’t shown up for the last three days.”

Senior # 3 – “I always give my caregiver my debit card when she goes to the casino. She bets for me since I can no longer go.”

Senior # 4 – Female senior is being evicted from her low-income apartment. She was vetted before moving in and found to have enough funds for rent, utilities and food, but is now four months behind in her rent. Her son shows up to ‘visit’ once a month when her social security check arrives.

Senior # 5 -The maintenance man at her low-income apartment offered to take out her trash. He noticed several empty cat food tins in her garbage. Senior # 5 does not own a cat.

What do these examples have in common?

All of these seniors, when questioned, expressed the fear that if they say anything they may lose their caregiver or anger a family member– and may end up in memory care, nursing home or assisted living facility.

When discovered, all the former examples were dealt with.

Senior # 1 The daughter was notified of the sleeping caregiver. Her mother, when asked why she had not said anything replied, “I felt sorry for her because she had to work two jobs”. A new caregiver was hired.

Senior # 2 was convinced to report his missing car to the police and a new caregiver was hired through a reputable agency.

Senior # 3 was questioned and indeed did want to give her debit card to the caregiver to gamble for her. No other action was taken.

Senior # 4 - The apartment manager for Senior # 4 had previously had the lock changed on her mailbox but the resident gave the new key to her son again. This senior was eventually evicted after she refused to incriminate her son.

Senior # 5 was informed of free food giveaways and transportation and deliveries were arranged for her.

The other thing these particular seniors had in common is that they all lived in low-income active adult senior communities that provided on-site social service referrals. Seniors are awesome when it comes to looking out for one another and reporting concerns. But a big part of why this works is because they live in a community.

What about the frail homebound seniors who are still living alone, isolated, due to the COVID-19 pandemic or because family members live far away? Social service workers used to be able to rely on mail delivers to report mail piling up in their mailboxes or newspapers littering their porch. But now house to house mail delivery has dwindled.

Older neighborhoods used to have neighbors that have lived side by side for decades, but we have become such a mobile society it is no longer always the case.

This is where trained caregivers and programs like Meals on Wheels can make a huge difference. The urgent need today is training for potential caregivers and concerned family members and friends on what to look for.

Bruises are pretty obvious. But what about medication that runs out too fast, or in some cases, lasts too long? Money and/or food that doesn’t last all month? Family members who bully or degrade their parent?

Next week we will look at the help that is already in place and when and how to ask for it.

Kathleen Anderson writes this column each week from her home in Olympia.  Contact her at  kathleen@theJOLTnews.com or post your comment below.