Regaining hope with inevitability

Alexis Rae Baker

I have often found a quote from Martin Luther King Jr. to be immensely helpful:

“Take the first step in faith. You don't have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step.”

 Dear Alexis,

I’ve been struggling with depression lately; I can’t seem to find a good way to retain hope.

It’s almost as if the world is beating up on me constantly and I don’t know what to do.

Do you have any advice on how I can increase my hope, or ways in which I can change my perspective around the situation?

Thanks,

~ Hopeless

Dear Hopeless,

I’m sorry to hear that you’ve been struggling so much lately. I know that it can be hard to believe that things will improve at times. And while I certainly find, in moments like these, that retaining hope is absolutely vital, it can be hard to see the potential big picture when your attention is inevitably focused on what is going wrong.

Given the challenge of switching focus, I have often found a quote from Martin Luther King Jr. to be immensely helpful: “Take the first step in faith. You don't have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step.”

The knowledge that you’re moving forward is often the best way in which you can find hope in a hopeless time. And while it doesn’t always feel like you’re making progress, by taking little steps forward you can at least start to build some momentum and will eventually start to see results as well. So, while I don’t know the specifics of your situation, small steps in the direction of that which you want will inevitably lead to improvement.

For example, if you’re trying to improve your base emotional state, or even just shift your thinking in a more positive direction, it’s the individual little moments that are going to have the greatest impact overall. This idea is common amongst many of the teachers that I have learned from, such as Jordan Peterson. Jordan suggests that it’s our day-to-day activities that are the most important because they make up the majority of our time spent on earth, and while we tend to focus on the big events more, within our own minds, from a larger perspective those larger moments don’t tend to matter as much as the day-to-day.

Example:

I remember going for a walk several months back where I found myself tiring long before I reached the end of the trek. I found myself breathing hard, wishing I’d brought along some water, and I was thinking to myself how far I still had to go just in order to get back home. And while it might seem kind of ridiculous, I wasn’t entirely sure that I could make it.

The only thing that really kept me moving was the idea that I didn’t want to have to call somebody to pick me up. So, I opted to slow down and take the walk one step at a time and that decision actually shifted my perspective significantly, despite the mundane nature of the event. I realized that by taking one step at a time, focusing solely on that single step, I would inevitably wind up back home. There was no other choice, as long as I kept moving, I would get there.

At the time I was focused on creating more of a career for myself and the realization of such inevitability invited me to think about how I could go about reaching the other goals I had in my life. So while less directly related to the events of that particular day, the lesson of that exhaustion moved me forward in a more positive direction. And while I cannot say that it’s always easy to take action, I now have a profoundly deep realization that movement of any kind, in the direction of that which you want, will inevitably get you to where you want to go.

This same truth actually applies to any avenue of life, including avenues in which we generally wouldn’t consider action particularly vital. Finding the people you connect with the most, for example, is one of the activities that we figure will happen on its own time and in its own way; however, it is by realizing that such people do exist, and by actively pursuing the things we care about, that we can find the people that we hope will help us feel fulfilled in our lives.

Meeting my husband wasn’t a particularly challenging endeavor, in that I only had to be present in the moment and make myself available online. That initial action of setting up a profile and interacting with those who reached out allowed me the chance to find a long-term relationship. And while others may prefer alternative means of meeting people, the necessity of leaving the house, in some sense, is still present.

For the longest time, I wasn’t sure I would ever get married, but here I am, a year later, married with a baby on the way. No matter how impossible the dream may seem, reaching your goal is inevitable as long as you keep working toward it.  Marriage seemed like an impossible dream one year ago but, despite my thinking, my desired relationship took form nonetheless.

Whatever it is that’s drawing your focus, start taking steps toward your desired result and take pride in every positive action. Keep it simple, don’t let your mind get too far ahead, and step-by-step you will notice changes for the better. Like Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. said, you don’t need to see the staircase, just take the first step.

Best of luck,

~ Lexis

Lexis is Alexis Rae Baker, who writes from her home in Olympia.  What would you like to ask her to comment about?  Write to her at Lexis@theJOLTnews.com