Advice from A Lexis

On Imposter Syndrome

Posted

Dear Lexis,

I've been working toward building a career as a public speaker, but as I get closer to success, I can't help but feel like a fraud.

Who am I to be teaching people when I'm still figuring this stuff out myself? The doubts leech away my will to continue, but this is still something I really want to do.  Do you have any suggestions on how to deal with this issue?

 Thanks,

           ~ Afraid in Lacey

Dear Afraid in Lacey,

I can certainly relate to what you're going through. Throughout my life, people have told me that I'm too young, too inexperienced, or just too naive to hold the perspectives that I do. Whether these comments are accurate or not, they do have a tendency to eat away at my confidence.

It has led to an interesting question though, one that I will share with you: Who is qualified?

Can you ever know enough to prevent other people from doubting you? Will you ever have all the answers? Probably not. No one can have all the answers; this world is simply too large for any one of us to understand all of it. In fact, this world is so large that two people sitting next to each other can experience such differences that their world perspectives can differ entirely. The possibilities and potentials available are endless and immeasurable. 

Because of this, feeling like you don't have all the information makes perfect sense. We can only ever do our best and admit to our ignorances when they appear. If you don't pretend to have all the answers, people will tend to give you some leniency when you don't know something. As a public speaker, you certainly need to know a bit more than the average person on whatever topic you've chosen, but how much is enough?

Who knows less than you?

This is where you run into the second inevitability; there will always be someone who knows less than you. Whether this ignorance is due to lack of exposure, or lack of interest, you have more knowledge about your chosen topic than some. Find those people and you've found your audience. This might be a limited number, so if you want a little more assurance before you start, I would suggest finding some point of unique knowledge to share (something that not many other speakers of your topic mention). With this unique viewpoint, you can be comfortable in your knowledge that people will benefit from you.

The third inevitability

With your unique perspective and your understanding that you can't know everything, now you have to deal with the fear of failure and judgment. As someone in the public eye, you are likely to be looked up to, which means more judgment. You are establishing yourself as an expert and, as such, you are likely to get some negative feedback as a result, this is the third inevitability. Keep in mind that, when you start out, your reach probably isn't huge. You have a bit more leeway, and time, to find your path. Sure, you might alienate some; some might look at you and wonder why you think you should be respected, but you don't have to appeal to everyone. I know that the desire to be liked is strong, but if you can forgive yourself enough to take the risk now, before the negatives start, you can build resilience that will help you through the challenges ahead.

In all likelihood, you're already ready. If your working to establish yourself as a thought leader, chances are you've figured out your unique perspective and now have the fundamentals of this new career established. Now you just need to focus on moving forward. Keep working toward your goal, keep the inevitabilities in mind, and give yourself the opportunity to forge ahead even if you're unsure of the next step. It's a challenging path, but a rewarding one too. Forgive yourself when you fall, learn from your mistakes, and remind yourself that you do have something to offer. One day everything will fall into place and you'll look back at this moment and commend yourself for a job well done.

I hope this helps inspire you to keep pushing ahead. If you've found this article helpful, please reach out to let me know. If you have a question about this topic, or another, feel free to ask.

Good luck on your journey,

          ~ Lexis

Alexis Rae Baker writes from her home in Olympia.   Got a question about life, relationships, spirit? Write to Lexis at  Lexis@theJOLTnews.com 

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