Job loss brings overwhelming uncertainty

You have the ability to handle whatever life throws at you.”

Dear Lexis,

I recently lost my job and I find myself feeling overwhelmed by uncertainty. I used to feel like things were going to work out and that my life was on track, but I don’t know what to do from here. Do you have any advice on how I can move forward, or how I can cope with this feeling so that I’m better prepared to take on the challenge of finding a new job?

     ~ Unemployed

Dear Unemployed,

I understand where you’re coming from. It can be really hard to suddenly have to face a significant life change at a moment’s notice and it can certainly make things feel uncertain and uncomfortable. Oftentimes, the longer you’ve been at your job, the harder it can be to face this new reality. It’s not shocking that such events can throw someone’s life into complete turmoil. However, there is hope: It lays in where you find your certainty.

As a general rule, men find their sense of certainty in their work and women find their sense of certainty in their relationships (there are always exceptions, of course). Often these tendencies come down to upbringing, but in the end, neither sense of certainty is safe. Both jobs and relationships are, at least partly, out of your control.

However, if you’re looking to develop an iron-clad sense of certainty, all you need to do is look within. You have the ability to handle whatever life throws at you. How do I know? Because you have so far and there’s no reason to believe otherwise now.

It’s amazing how this realization can affect your life and it’s all the certainty you will ever need. Every time that things get hard, and you find yourself unsure, remember that you have the ability to handle anything life throws at you and you will immediately feel more relaxed. As your body relaxes, you’re creativity spikes and you start to see potential solutions.

I know that feeling like you can handle things can be a challenge. So here are a few steps to help you out.

1. Take 3 deep breaths

There’s something about threes that really work when it comes to relaxation. 

2. Mentally consider your ability to handle life’s challenges

Consider all the challenges that you have faced in the past and consider what you felt when those challenges first presented themselves. You resolved those problems and you can do the same now.

3. Take 3 more deep breaths

One more time.

4. Ask yourself what the best next step is

Now that you’ve activated your creativity, let your mind search for potential solutions. Let your thoughts quiet, breathe deep, touch your heart, and listen for the answer. Ideas will start to pop into your head in relatively short order and you’ll discover that you already have access to all the information you could need.

It’s hard to face change. I know that these steps may seem simplistic. But if you give it a shot, you might be surprised just how effective they are. Life can throw you some real zingers at times, but when you hold firm in your belief that you can handle any problem that comes your way, you will face life with a whole new level of poise and confidence.

I know that things aren’t going your way right now but things will work out in the long run. Whatever happens, I’m rooting for you.

     ~ Lexis

Alexis Baker writes from her home in Olympia.  Write to her at  Lexis@theJOLTnews.com