I’m grateful for the struggles in my life

Alexis Rae Baker

Dear JOLT Reader:

Life can be hard sometimes; it certainly has been for me lately and I don’t really know when things will start to turn for the better.

My new husband and I have been trying to build our life together for some months. We wanted to buy a place of our own and start raising our family. Unfortunately, life seems to have another plan for us and I’m unsure what the future might hold.

There are days where things seem hopeless, like it’s the two of us against the world. I can’t tell you how many plans have fallen through, or how many times I’ve found myself crying over another letdown. But, there is one thing that remains crystal clear through the struggle, giving in won’t help anything.

In many ways I’m grateful for the struggles in my life as they have created a resilience that continues to get me through even the darkest of nights. And while it can be hard to believe that everything is working out for the best when you’re in the midst of pain, it is actually in that moment that such a belief becomes absolutely vital.

Hope for a better tomorrow may be the only thing that gets you through the day sometimes, the belief that all of this pain will be worth it in the end gives you the strength to keep moving forward.

I’ve known many people who have struggled with suicidal thoughts, they ask me why they should keep living when no one seems to care about what happens to them. The only answer I can ever give is that, by living, they continue to have the opportunity to have the kind of life they want, to be the kind of friend they would like to have, and/or to help someone else who is struggling with the same issue in the future. In some ways, it seems lame to tell someone who feels hopeless that the answer to their suffering is to feel hopeful about tomorrow, but there truly is no better advice in my opinion.

By trusting that something good is on its way, you leave yourself open to the possibilities and opportunities around you. By choosing to ignore the depression that threatens to overwhelm, you start to see the good things that already exist within your life. And despite what you may think, there is always good in your life, it just isn’t as attention grabbing as the bad tends to be.

For every bad thing, there are five good, you just have to look for them.

So, while it’s not my favorite idea to give birth while living in a rat-infested mobile home with a leaky roof, tomorrow I may find myself in a more favorable position. A year ago my life looked entirely different from what it looks like today. Who’s to say that the same shift won’t occur again?

While my living situation was more comfortable a year ago, I didn’t have a husband or a child on the way. I wouldn’t trade my marriage or my child for a nicer house and money, so instead I choose to trust that my life has followed this course for a reason and that I’m being guided toward an even greater tomorrow.

Hope gives me the motivation to keep working toward the future I desire. With hope, I can see a world of opportunities waiting for me to step forward. And while that future may take time to appear, it’s only through my cooperation that it’s even possible.

So yes, it’s hard to believe that everything is working out for the best. It’s hard to keep moving forward when things seem so uncertain. I’m asking you to take a level of responsibility for your life that most people never will. I’m asking you to claim your power and take charge of your own life. But it’s only when you realize that you are the only person who can change your life and start taking action, that you will notice an improvement.

You don’t have to do it alone, you can ask other people for help, but you have to be the one who takes action. And while life will continue to throw curve balls, through your action and your belief, you will know how to keep pushing through.

          ~ Lexis

Lexis is Alexis Rae Baker, who writes from her home in Olympia.  What would you like to ask her to comment about?  Write to her at Lexis@theJOLTnews.com